I hate trying to make decisions when I haven't really heard from God.
It's fifteen minutes until registration for co-op classes for next year closes, and we're undecided. Everything looks great on paper. The boys would attend four classes and lunch one day a week, but I don't feel an overwhelming peace. Maybe it's because I feel rushed to make a decision.
I'm reluctant to put them in classes because they are 80 minutes each, and I'm not sure if my boys will be able to handle that amount of time in their seats for four classes. I tried to choose classes that were interactive, but once you committ to the year, you're obigated to pay the full tuition. The co-op didn't allow us to visit while classes were in session. They say there's a two week grace period and we could drop a class with a $20 penalty, but how can we make a decision after two classes?
At first my husband wanted to send them all day so I could get a break. Homeschooling has been such a stress on our family, and he wants to do what's right by us all. But what's the answer?
Things can't go on like they did last year, and there doesn't seem to be any perfect options, so while we discussed the co-op once more, I huddled in bed under the covers content to stay there for the rest of the afternoon and forego making this decision.
Time for registration is now past. We can always sign up in August, but there's no guarantee the classes will be open. I have no clue what to do next year. I want God to write the answer on the wall.
When we decided to homeschool I didn't have clear direction from the Lord, and it's been the hardest two years of my life. But what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? So I press on, hoping that my suffering will turn to joy. That all the struggles we face day to day will produce everlasting fruit. That some how my children and I will figure this homeschool thing out and the hard days will be a fading memory of the past.
I know God will be with us no matter what we decide. Even if we totally blow it and make the worst possible choice. Still, I'd rather know God's will and be in it than to wander blindly in this homeschool desert. But then again, maybe that's what He wants. For me to follow Him blindly in this journey.
9 comments:
But what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? So I press on
I hear you. We'll be able to move mountains when this is all done. Remember no decision is final or forever. If you make a mistake it is recoverable. I've had bad years and my children are still on board. Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy the journey a little.
"Your children shall be taught of the Lord and great shall be the peace of them." (Isaiah somewhere)
Praying you make a wise decision.
Co-op groups and co-op classes are not all created equal. Many moms get their kiddies together on a cooperative basis just to have fun together exploring a subject of interest. Maybe that's an alternative for you -- one day every other week, getting together with HS'ing friends for activities can BE a break in itself, just because it breaks the routine. Check out Guilt-Free Homeschooling's Topical Index for the section on Co-op Groups and see if any of the ideas there will work for you. You may not even need another family to join in -- just start exploring on your own and see what develops.
Ladies, thanks for the words of encouragement.
We do belong to a co-op that meets on Fridays throughout the year. It has been wonderful for gathering with people and those "extras" like music, art, and science experiments. But I needed a little more help with subjects I couldn't devote time to like grammar and state history.
Now that my youngest is four, things are getting better. But she's still a high spirited bundle of energy who disapears every time I turn my head. It's hard getting through a lesson without having to track her down and get her out of trouble.
And then there are still the discipline issues I deal with. It's a wonder we get school done at all but as I glanced back through our plan book just a minute ago, I'm amazed at all we did do!
I don't know how all you moms out there with more than two kids do it.
Gina, I totally feel your pain! That's the biggest reason my daughter, who'll be going into 9th grade, will be going to public school next year. Caring for my 2 babies doesn't allow me enough time to work with my older daughter, and she's not getting what she needs from me.
God will lead you where your family needs to go. In the meantime, check out www.preschoolersandpeace.com and hopefully there's something there that might be helpful.
I hate trying to make decisions when I haven't really heard from God.
I totally hear you there. Sometimes God asks us just to DO even when we don't hear from him clearly. I don't know why, and it drives me nuts.
The good news is that no matter what decisions I make, God manages to make things turn out okay. I guess it's that whole omniscient "I know hwat you're going to do before you do it" thing. :)
Camy
Oh...I just read this post and your debut post, and I am adding your blog to my faves...
There is one great thing I've heard about these types of decisions where there doesn't seem to be a clear answer on the wall. It's a story of two groups of scouts who were given the job to sink a raft in the middle of a river by catapulting rocks onto it. The first group sat on the bank and calculated the weight of the rocks, the distance, the velocity, etc. The other group just started chucking the rocks and adjusting their catapult and position as they needed to. Guess which group sunk the raft first? The chuck and adjusters. I think life is really like that. You just have to throw your rocks and adjust as you need to. If the toss is off, then for sure adjust your position and work from there - you'll reach the goal sooner doing that than trying to figure it all out before it even begins.
Hang in there! A lot of times the answer gets clearer once you take the first (or several) step into the dark - a light will appear to light your way.
One thing I know for sure is that raising our children is vitally important to God. He will not leave us comfortless or without guidance. Trust in His wisdom and know that your children are even more important to Him than they are to you.
And wow...the Abraham-Isaac thing...I am going to be thinking about that all week. Such good writing and such feeling...Thanks for sharing it.
(And thanks for stopping by my blog. Come back anytime.)
Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier.
Wow, what a hard decision. I think in the end, even though we struggle so much with them, we tend to still do what works for us. If it doesn't, we make due and next time decide differently.
I hear you on the 4 year old. She has made it a struggle to teach the olders this year. I keep feeling like a failure, but then my kids do something awesome, totally unrelated to "school" but reather "life" instead and it make me think twice. Sometimes we have a school year and others we have a life year. It was hard for me to come to that this year, but it is what it is and I pray you will know the right choice to make.
I think you made the right choice. My friend recently struggled with re-enrolling her kids at the Christian school they attend, or putting them in public school. They felt God calling them to do something different, but didn't get confirmation. They let the Christian school deadline pass, the administrators kept asking if they were going to enroll, and they just waited. They ended up decided not to enroll, but while they were waiting, the ran the risk of their spots being filled, but they couldn't act without more specific direction.
Keep praying and keep waiting and God will either speak through circumstances (classes being full, or not), or through a stronger sense of the right thing for your family.
I was just updating my blog and thought this recent entry might encourage you.
http://jennifersnapshot.blogspot.com/2006/06/hearing-from-god.html
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