Portrait of Homeschooling
It's been one of THOSE days again. They're still more frequent then I care to admit. It's days like these that I question my decision to homeschool. Wouldn't I be a better mom if I sent my kids off to school, had a consistent prayer time, went to the gym, did the laundry and planned dinner hours before it was actually time to eat?
I'd be well rested, maybe even able to take a nap or have lunch with friends. But instead I'm struggling through my day, offering prayers of desperation to God because I'm a complete failure in molding my little one into His image. Kids learn by seeing, and I haven't been a good model as I scramble through my day making sure kids are on track, not goofing off or fighting or getting into things they shouldn't. Most of the time I'm redirecting, discipling, and yes, yelling for my kids to do or not do something and sometimes the "good" ones get caught in the middle.
Am I missing something here? Where's the joy in homeschooling? Where's the happy smiling faces, eager to learn?
The other day my 11 year-old saw the frustration on my face after dealing with him about one thing or another (can't even remember what it was). He smiled at me and said, "God won't give you more than you can handle."
I wanted to scream...YEAH RIGHT! Instead I smiled, and gave him a hug. Why can't there be more moments like that!
5 comments:
Whenever I hear that Bible verse I have the urge to look into the sky and scream "Enough Already." I am not a homeschooler and I know that I couldn't do it because I am not nearly patient enough...but I love that there are people out there who can.
Ironically, I said I would/could never homeschool my oldest for the exact reasons (we just seem to butt heads over everything), though I always felt it would be an ideal way to learn if all parties involved could get along.
At this point (our second year homeschooling) it's not about what I want... I'm just hoping through my obedience, prayer (lots of it) and sticking it out, everything else will fall into place. :)
Oh dear one, do not grow weary of doing good!
It isn't easy but you are in the middle of his will in your current choices to step back from career and do this thing called life...with your children. Homeschooling when done out of obedience to Him will bear fruit.
Be encouraged. He is teaching me it is all about balance. Neither obsessing nor neglecting. Oh is he teaching me.
Thanks for visiting my site. Just browsing over yours..
Rest. That's the thing I keep thinking He's saying to me. Not the go to sleep or blow off work kind of rest, but that rest that trusts that He's working even in the tough stuff.
I was just over at ragamuffindiva and she was talking about baggage. I realized that so much of how I handle the kids and the things they do that irritate me go back to how I am doing--whether or not I'm resting and trusting. Whether I am accepting grace and forgiveness for myself or letting baggage or junky stuff define me.
When I let Christ "name" me--when I rest in His finished work on the cross instead of looking to my own faults and inadequacies I handle tough days better.
I really blew it this week. Made a mess of things and found myself desperate for God's mercy. Looking back, I wasn't resting. I was worrying and judging myself and our homeschool instead of trusting and resting. *sigh*
Saying a prayer for you right NOW!
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