Portraits of Homeschooling
So I did it again! I called dear ol'hubby and begged him to send the kids to school, and I think this time I mean it. I've battled horrible attitudes for two and a half years and things have only gotten a little better.
What sparked this, you ask? My middle boy would not take his cold medicine. After spending close to $50 on "focus" vitamins and respiratory medicine in LIQUID form because he WON'T swallow pills, he flat out refuses to swallow the yucky smelling liquid. So I flat out refused him lunch until he did. The only problem is I knew he needed food because he gets really irrational when his blood sugar drops and there's no talking to the kid. So I offered to compromise. I said he could eat candy first to help the taste. NO deal. I asked him to come up with a solution. Still he wouldn't budge.
He made it through a science lesson without eating, and things were fine, until he got hungry again. He started whinning, and I offered him the medicine again. More fits of whininess and that's when I called hubby AT WORK, asking him to play principal. He couldn't tear himself away and that's when I said, "send him to public school."
Well, after that I finally allowed him to eat. I really don't think homeschooling should be a daily battle and that's what it's been for two and a half years. I've had to go to the doctor for stress related problems and as much as I would love to have the perfect homeschool (or at least a sometimes happy and peaceful homeschool where kids want to learn occassionally and are on task every once in a while and who occassionally go off on an educational tangent of further study.) But my homeschool is NOT like that and sometimes I wonder if they'd be better off in school.
They're very smart and their test score are way above average, so that's really not the problem. It's the daily grind of dealing with all the behavioral stuff!!!
So I'm seriously considering enrolling them in school next semester.
But that's what I said last year, and the year before that! Bottom line is I want what's best for EVERYONE!! Now I just need to try and get over the guilt if I do decide to enroll them in school.
What's your take on it? Has ANYONE ever been in my situation? Should I get over the guilt and just say at least I tried, or hang on a little bit longer?
UPDATE on the Cold Medicine incident: Hubby took one whiff of the nasty stuff and didn't blame our son for refusing it. Oh, well! Lost that battle and his cold seems to be getting better on his own. Thanks for everyone's wonderful comments and encouragement. We're still praying about next year!
6 comments:
We've considered it with our oldest, in fact talked about it yesterday. We also realized that she would be even worse in school where they wouldn't be able to deal with the problems we handle on a daily basis in a way that would work for her. It would be parent teacher conferance galor combined with plenty of "you should have her tested and put on medication" and her slipping through the cracks despite her above average intelligence because just like my husband did, she flat out refuses to work. My husband spent years in special ed because he couldn't be bothered to do anythin he didn't want to do, and I should have been and spent every afternoon fighting with my parents about the work I should have done at school and didn't, my grades which should have been better because I could do the work, if given the time and one on one I needed, and all the other relationship stuff I dealt with because I was immature for my age socially.
I would pray about it, ask for wisdom, and trust the Lord with the decision He gives you.
Seasons of frustration are no fun.
Things you may not want to hear, it is not as much about what you want to do as much as it is what does the Lord want you to do and are you willing to obey whatever that may look like. He very well could say, put him in school but he may very well say, press on. If you can convince your husband to do so, I would take a night away, get a hotel room if you can and really pray and seek. Yell scream, cry some too. Then make sure you are quiet to hear what the Lord may be saying. He may direct you to change your approach or his diet. I know recently I had hit a wall with our son on reading lessons, they were beginning to get really frustrating for both of us. What should take 20 minutes was taking nearly an hour. So we changed our approach. We put away the book and God showed me some things I could do, and now it is amazing. I do hope to get back to the reading lessons next week but we will do so with a new confidence.
Does your husband ever take the principle role with your kids? I would enlist him to sit down with your son and explain there is no other option but to listen to your request and if that means medicine it means medicine or deal with dad.
If you choose to put them back in school I would make sure you have the Lord's blessing to do so. Press ahead without it and you could find that things may get much worse than you ever imagined.
I am not saying that public school would be a bad option. I do feel that someday our kids will be in public school. I am saying do not do it out of His perfect Will.
Praying for you in this time of great decisions.
Thanks for all your advice and encouragement! I will spend my holiday break seeking God in this area.
MTF, my son in question seems to have done better in school than at home. I basically brought him home because I didn't want to think about having one in school and one homeschooling. Maybe I missed God on this son, but I do know it has been a very good experience in helping me know how my son learns.
Over the last two years I've learned the kid is highly intelligent and processes things faster than most twelve year olds and he's only nine. I also know that he could be a little overwhelmed this year because since he's so smart, I have him doing higher level work. He probably just needs a little break.
Heather, As for school and my oldest who has ADHD but a high IQ, I'm really excited about the prospect of this school in our town. The entire school is designed for ADHD and LD kids. In fact you have to be diagnosed to get in. I'm just wondering if my son is ADHD enough, but either way, I just want what's best for the boys and if it isn't me than I'll have to learn to give up control and let go. That'll be the hardest thing for me!
Thanks for all your prayers!
I had wondered if that may be the case. I was not exactly sure why you had brought him home in the first place. It may be that he is suppose to be in the school.
That is awesome that your area has a school specifically for ADHD. What better way to meet the unique needs a kid with ADHD has.
My children are not homeschooled, but keep reading. ;) I have two friends who put their kids in private Christian schools. I have several friends who homeschool. And a lot who put their kids in public school. You know, Gina, be obedient to the Lord. If he moves your kids back into school, he has a purpose. Don't judge yourself and feel guilty. Neither option is the be all end all. My close friend thought she would not homeschool, then she developed cancer and after recovering decided to homeschool so she could be with her kids more. Another friend ONLY homeschools Kindergarten and then each kid heads off to public first grade.
The good news is that all our kids are great kids, they are learning, and we are all teaching them about our faith and morals at home outside of school hours. But we also send them to school with those same faith and morals.
Perhaps keeping them home is the best thing for you. But perhaps there is a purpose God wants to fulfill in you that can more easily be fulfilled if your kids go to school.
Just my two cents from a different perspective. My friends' kids are awesome. And personally, my kids are doing great and I enjoy doing what I need to do in an environment that doesn't rob my attention from them. Then when they are home, it's all abou them and hubby. :)
Praying for you,
Tina
We had always, always planned on homeschooling. Then our oldest daughter hit school age, and I realized that there was no way I could do it - I'm not structured enough, not patient enough, have serious health issues. So we made a hard choice and put her into school - she's thriving, our relationship is great and we've made the choices that we had to make to be happy as a family.
Good luck!
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