As I’ve been Experiencing Christ Within, I’ve also been challenged in my parenting. A while ago God led me from my restrictive, by-the-book parenting to a more Grace based parenting. It wasn’t an easy switch, and I still struggle with doling out consequences as my first reaction to parenting.
But I’ve learned over the last year that most times my kids will react positively to a positive mom. I’ve learned that I don’t have to crack the whip to get them to obey my every command. I’ve learned that my job as a parent is not to punish and give consequences all the time, but it’s to train them in the way they should go and sometimes that means listening to their grievances and offering Grace instead of discipline.In week three of Experiencing Christ Within, Dwight Edwards touched on the subject of becoming spiritually provocative. He asked some great questions, and I want to share the thoughts I wrote in the margins about parenting.
If one of my jobs as a parent is to give my children a better glimpse of God, how can I do that? Do they need more discipline? More Grace? Initially more Grace comes to mind, but sometimes my children are so selfish and difficult. They lack respect. How can I offer MORE Grace without having them walk all over me?So what did I come up with?
But if I don’t teach my children the consequences of disobedience does that glorify God.
I think there needs to be a balance. For my parenting personality I need to offer more grace in my discipline because I’m naturally bent toward the authoritative style of parenting. But my children need to know the consequences of their sin.
We’ve been studying Genesis and the consistent message is so clear. It’s obedience to God. Adam and Eve disobeyed and they were kicked out of the garden. God didn’t tell them they’d be kicked out before hand. (That’s one of my kids arguments. But you didn’t tell me I’d get such and such taken away…)
But focusing on God’s glory in my parenting would help me give my kids the Godly discipline they need to be trained up in the way they should go. Focusing on God’s glory would take the focus off my self, off my anger, off my kids’ disobedience and back onto God where it should be. It would help me be more patient and kind toward my kids.
And what if I started thinking this way in my marriage? In my social relationships? If we all started asking the question, how could God be glorified in this situation, think of the amazing transformation the world would go through!
If I take one thing away from this study, this would be enough!
Show me Lord, how I can glorify you today in every situation!
6 comments:
This is great stuff! And I just have to add that I feel it's so important that we reinforce the "law" during the non-conflict times, the good times (family devo for instance)...not just the bad times. I've seen so many kids become manipulative and sneaky when all they get is "law"/"legalism". How will they ever understand the graciousness of God if we parents don't exhibit it from time to time.
You're right, it's a fine balancing act!
Hi Gina, great post. Do you know of any scriptures that give tips on parenting? I know that it's a very hard and responsible job and I believe most parents do it to the best of their ability. I know I did, but I also know I did many things wrong. I would say leading by example is the most truthful way that children see God. We can talk about Him to them all day, but if they don't seem Him in us then I feel they don't come to understand. I like the idea of discipline with Grace. Maybe I can help my children with their's in giving such good tips. Thanks God Bless..
Wow - thought-provoking stuff. I definitely struggle with giving out consequences that are given in a grace-full way: "I love you so much and it hurts me that you've chosen to disobey," rather than an emotionally-charged, punitive threat in the heat of the moment! Maybe it's not so much grace VERSUS consequences, but an attitude of grace while giving the consequences. Keeping the emotion out of it is 99% of it for me! Great thoughts, Gina.
Thank goodness the parenting books are gone - you are free! My grandmother gave me the only advice I ever needed to raise my six - "Do everything in Love - you will never harm a child "
I am not a perfect parent - but that's okay - I'm not raising perfect children! They have become beautiful, thoughtful, loving, God-fearing adults - and the joy of my life. Common Sense and Love go a long way!
Yes, I am always trying to walk the line between grace and authority. I think that I lean more towards not grace but laziness, meaning that I should focus a bit more on authority with an underpinning of grace always.
Oh man! I check in over here often. How did I miss this series. Good stuff, Gina!
Post a Comment