The Lighter Side...

Portrait of Fun, Writing

I found this on the web and thought a little light humor was needed right about now in the midst of my journey...keep reading for my own version.

I Wanna Muffin
by Kathy Fictorie
based on "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff

If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She'll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.)

The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two-year-old.

While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee.

Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Now for my version:

If You Give A Writer A Laptop

by Gina Conroy
based on "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff

If you give a writer a laptop she’ll want a cup of coffee before she writes. She’ll go to the kitchen to make herself a pot and realize she drank it all yesterday.

She’ll reach for her purse and realize she can’t find her keys. She’ll dump the contents of her purse onto the table and find her lipstick. That will remind her that she doesn’t have any make-up on, and she’s still in her pajamas. So she’ll splash a little color on her face and pull on her favorite jeans.

Bending over to tie her sneakers, she’ll split her pants and realize she’s gained more than a couple of pounds. She’ll throw on her sweats and decide to jog to the coffee shop since it’s just a couple of blocks away.

As she’s jogging down the street she’ll see a paper sack and clothes scattered in the road. She'll stop. Her writer’s imagination kicks into high gear (unlike her slow jog), and she imagines a kidnapping gone awry, a teen runaway falling off the back of a truck she just hitched a ride from, or an angry housewife kicking her cheating husband out.

As she stoops down for a closer inspection, she’ll notice a wallet. Seeing the empty wallet will remind her she was on her way to get some coffee. And chances are if she reaches into her pockets for her money, she’ll realize she spent it all on the laptop.

What do you think? Do you have your own version to share?

No Flashing Green Neon lights, Yet

Portrait of Writing, Faith, Homeschooling


I’m struggling with deciphering God’s specifics about me “not writing.” My biggest struggle with writing had been making my Work In Progress (WIP) an obsession. Sometimes it seemed to have a life of its own, calling me, controlling me, and making me push aside the really important things in my life like homeschooling and family. So I knew without a doubt that setting aside my WIP was what God meant by “not writing.”

But what about this blog, visiting the ACFW website, offering an occasional critique to my fellow writers, or attending a writer’s group where writing or at least brainstorming is involved?

I know some of my homeschool friends would think I should give up writing for this season of homeschooling. But I also know that so many moms who homeschool also have successful writing careers, so why can’t I do the same?

I’m not sure what God wants. I don’t think he wants me to hang up my computer for this entire season of homeschooling. That would be too cruel, unless He totally changed my heart. I know it’s not impossible to change my heart (though to do so would be miraculous), but then He’d have to change who He made me to be. And I can’t see Him doing that.

I do know that pulling away from writing has made me more relaxed and at peace (except when I hear how my fellow writers are progressing on their WIPs and the impatient monster raises its head.) But for the most part I’m not anxious to write like I was before. The best way I can describe it is like a drug addict needing a fix. Now I’ve never been a drug addict, but that longing and craving to write had control of me. Since I’ve given that up, the desire doesn’t have a hold of me. I feel in control of it. Now I just need to know what to do with this control.

I’m afraid to dabble in the writing arena for fear of falling off the wagon, so to speak. Last month when I attended a writer’s meeting right after God dropped the “quit writing” bomb (see very first post for more details), I felt my creative juices stirring and it was too depressing for me not to be able to write like I wanted to. Maybe time has curbed my longing. Maybe I can handle a brainstorm session about a WIP I have yet to write. Is brainstorming considered writing in the eyes of God?

But with my spiritual eyes I want to believe God will allow it if it doesn’t keep me from my priorities. I used to joke about my writing, telling people I made time for my writing despite the last minute, throw together dinners or piled up laundry. “I have my priorities,” I would tell them. Now that statement is so convicting. Yes, my priorities have changed, but my talents, giftings and desires have not.

I’m not the type of mom who needs or even wants to spend all my time with my children. In fact, I’m an introvert who NEEDS lots of time alone without the noise and chaos of four kids. Being home with them all day, everyday has been taxing on me these last couple of weeks. I find myself doing everything for them and nothing for me. I know that’s not what God wants for me either, but I’m afraid of getting out of balance and, I haven’t been given a flashing, green neon light from God. And for me to be sure it’s from Him, it better be flashing, green, and neon or at least a phone call from an agent who just loves my WIP and wants to represent me. Anything less and I’ll be second guessing myself.

Big Lessons from a Little Devotion

Portrait of Faith, Family

The other morning I sat down with my three and five year old for a quick devotion. I usually don't get around to devotions with my little ones, but on this morning I had managed some quiet time myself before they got up. When they came to sit besides me I set aside my Bible and seized the moment, never knowing that their children's devotion would be just what I needed.

Giving Up Things for Jesus

That was the title of the lesson taken from Luke 5:10-11 and the story about when Jesus called Simon to follow Him. Simon loved to fish. It was all he knew to do, and he was good at it. But Jesus wanted Simon to tell others about the Kingdom of God. Jesus wanted Simon to follow Him.

Wow! That totally hit me where I was. Loving something so much, something I was good at and felt called to, and then being asked to give it up.

Jesus didn’t promise Simon would always have a roof over his head, or the road would be easy. He simply said, “be a fisher of men.” And that’s what Simon did.

Simon could have stayed behind and continued fishing, and he probably would have been happy and content. But Simon gave up what he loved. He traded in his fishing gear for something better.

Jesus.

During this season of Lent as we remember what Christ gave up for us; ask Him what He wants you to give up for Him. If you’re obedient to what He asks of you, He’ll bless you with something more than you could ever imagine. I’m clinging to that as I walk in obedience to what He has spoken to my heart.

The devotion ended with this scripture and prayer:

“If you want to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find it.” Matthew 16:25

…I want to follow YOU, too Jesus. Help me give up those things that get in the way. AMEN.

Getting Real

Portraits of Homeschooling, Faith, Family

Yesterday I had one of those horrible home school days. I wish I could say they were few and far between, but they're not. From the moment I woke up until the kids went to bed, it was one emotional rollercoaster ride for me and my kids. It began with my 11 year old and trickled to three of the four kids. Thank God for my steady second child. Though he had a small meltdown at bedtime it didn't compare to my other three.

I have so many questions for God? Why did He give me these high spirited, high needs kids, and why did He want me to home school them? I couldn't possibly be the best person for the job. I have my own issues and struggles I'm dealing with. How can I be the mom they want me to be? How can I meet all their needs and do it all?

I don't have the answers, but encouragement came through a friend's email today. I read it earlier in the day and then had to return to it tonight. It offered some encouragement, though I still dread the thought of doing this all over again day after day.

"The strongest steel breaks if kept too long under unrelieved tension. God knows exactly how much pressure each one of us can take."

Yesterday I felt like breaking! I'm not sure if steel can bend, but I was doubled over and waiting to SNAP! It's days like these I question whether God really knows what He's doing and if He does, does He REALLY care. The answer came, I think...

"Slowly you will discover God's love in your suffering. Your heart will begin to approve the whole thing."

Okay, that's a little hard to believe at this point in time, but I'll accept it in faith. Still, I've got one more question...HOW SLOWLY?

You can read the entire article called Trials and Pain: The Ministry of Night

Life's Little Interruptions

Portrait of Faith, Family, Writing, Writing Moms


Almost six weeks ago I signed up for a Bible Study with some home schooling friends. I really didn’t feel like committing to another night out of the home especially since my family was already overscheduled with activities, but my husband encouraged me to go, and I knew I needed something to help me get into the Word and be accountable. I didn’t know the Bible study was on hearing the voice of God.

If you’ve read my first post, then you already know what happened about half way through the Bible study. Though God had been dealing with me on some level, I didn’t want to believe it was His voice whispering to me about my skewed priorities. Just like what happened to Saul on the road to Damascus, God decided to knock me off my horse. Yet, instead of blinding me as He did with Saul, the scales fell from my eyes.

The topic of discussion at our Bible study that week had been sold out hunger for God. The author Pricilla Shirer shared these words.

“More and more the Lord is showing me what I consider interruptions are often divine distractions designed to reveal His plans for me…”

Pricilla Shirer wrote about her young son tugging on her leg, trying to get her attention while she sat engrossed in writing the Bible study. “ignoring this interruption ignores God’s attempt to move me away from my plan for my day to His.”

Talk about an “ah-ha” moment! It was then that I realized I was treating my children as interruptions in my life and to my writing career. I had become so focused on what I thought my calling from God was that I’d been missing His divine plan for my life.

When I decided to home school almost two years ago I felt that was an interruption in my life. The time I thought I would have to write now had to be allocated to schooling. Still I was determined to make it work even if it meant staying up past midnight and “winging it” through my lessons the following day. During a quick break or at lunch, I’d steal away to the computer and get on email only to stay longer than I had planned. My three-year-old would often interrupt what I was doing, and I’d either shoo her away or get irritated at the interruption. If I lingered too long on the computer I knew chaos would erupt in the rooms below with my boys, but somehow I couldn’t pull myself away in time to prevent the inevitable.

Pricilla goes on to write

“…we all become frustrated when seemingly meaningless interruptions interfere with plans we have for our careers, families, finances, or ministries. Are we missing God’s interventions as He seeks to divert us to His will?”

Was I missing God’s intervention as He sought to divert me to His will? I thought home schooling was an interruption in my life, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was God’s divine intervention to steer me back on the path He had already designed for me.

Pricilla said, “Sometimes when our plans are interrupted, we are staring God’s direction in the face. We must not push them aside to complete what we feel is most important.”

I’m still learning to hear God’s voice, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes I think maybe I missed Him on this one. But for now I’m going to walk this path and cling to Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are not your thoughts. My ways are not your ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than yours.”

Embracing Your Destiny

Portrait of Faith, Writing, Family, Writing Moms

What is my destiny?

I have always thought my destiny was to write and be published. And I still do, but I’m beginning to see that God can have more than one destiny for your life and for different seasons in your journey.

Here’s what Paula Moldenhauer has to say about Embracing the Destiny…

"So he will do for me all he has planned. He controls my destiny.” Job 23:14 (NLT)
Every woman (and man) has a destiny. As the queen, joined to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, our destiny has eternal impact.

For some of us, our destiny includes the shaping of little Princes and Princesses. Some of you have written about your experiences as Queen Mother. Often this task stretches you beyond anything else you’ve done. May I encourage you to catch a far-reaching vision for this calling?

As you love each child, the Father is pouring into her the ability to receive His love. As you pray over your child, those prayers are a fragrance reaching to heaven, calling forth heavenly assistance and blessing into his life. And every day you speak destiny into that child as you encourage his gifts, tell her of Jesus, and reveal to him his worth as God’s own prince.
It is within this destiny that generations are shaped. It is from this seed that grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be born and nurtured. The Queen Mother shapes the future of the world.

The season of Queen Mother never ends for those called to it. Though someday it will require less focus and time, it will never require less love or fewer prayers.
Embrace your destiny as Queen Mother. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and show you how to serve in this most honored position. Let Him give you rest and rejuvenation when the task seems too big.

And never, ever forget that this destiny is one of great worth to the King. This is one of His most favored positions, for He, Himself compares His love to that of a mother, promising to care for us as a mother cares for her nursing baby.

Many of you who receive this devotional have embraced a destiny as Royal Scribe. It is not an easy task, for the words of the King must be shaped according to His will and given to others in His way and time. If He has poured that passion within you, embrace it with abandon. Do not be deterred by rejection letters, harsh critiques, or naysayers. Write from your passion. Write the unique truth the Lord has given you. He has called you and chosen you for this position.

But remember, the King is charge. Be putty in His hand. Let His scepter point the way on the journey. If He asks you to refocus your attention to something He wants written, do it! If He wants to refine your character instead of sending you a paycheck, let Him! If He chooses to use a different scribe to share the message you wanted to share, rejoice that His message goes forth!
Ask the Holy Spirit to make you resilient and alive. Don’t let the struggle or the disappointments shut down your heart. Write. Feel. Live your destiny as a Royal Scribe!

Other destinies include Royal Teacher, Royal Chef, Manager of Accounts, Shepherd, Assembler, Artist, Banker, Checker . . . the list is as endless as the ways in which you serve. Serve well. Let those with whom your life intersects experience the love of Jesus.

Serve in kindness and integrity. Ask the Lord to empower you to act like royalty when the customer is a jerk, the boss is a fraud or the children whine. Let the Holy Spirit refine you and blossom you that you may make the world a better place by your contributions.

Many destinies have nothing to do with job or position. He’s asking some of you to embrace your destiny of Loving Spouse to a wounded husband or wife, while others are called to sit at the feet of the Groom and worship, taking your eyes off of your responsibilities and simply discovering His love.

Whatever your destiny, be encouraged. The Lord is in charge. He will do all He has planned for you. He controls your future."

If you were blessed by this devotion, I encourage you to sign up for Paula devotional or visit her website at http://www.soulscents.us

Thanks Paula, it was just what I needed!

Letting Go...

Portrait of Letting Go, Faith, Family, Writing, Writing Mom

February 24th

Today I am in mourning. I’m grieving the loss of a love. The loss of an idol in my life.

My writing.

How ironic my first entry of my writing blog is about NOT writing! Here's my story...

For too long I have been going at a ferocious pace, writing, editing, staying up way too late and disappearing for hours from family. I’ve told myself I needed the break and the escape, and I believe with all my heart that is true, but I’ve been running to the wrong thing. Instead of running to God, I’ve been running to my writing.

When I started my first novel 14 years ago, I knew it was inspired by God. I knew nothing about HOW to write a novel, but I sat down and wrote the story God wanted me to write. During those 14 years, I had four children and very little time to write. I only dusted off my WIP a couple of years ago, excited that I finally got the opportunity to do something I loved. Something I was born to do. With a renewed zeal in writing and finding ACFW to help teach me how to write, I jumped in with both feet. Just about that time we decided to pull our children out of private school and homeschool them. It was a difficult decision, one I didn’t really want to do and wasn’t even sure if it was God’s will, but I knew the alternatives didn’t bring me peace. So I went with the plan that brought me the most peace.

Homeschooling the first year was a nightmare. My children fought my teaching and my discipline (as well as fighting each other). If one child wasn’t having a melt down, one of the other children were. Personally, I had an inner meltdown (as well as an outer one) about three out of the five days a week. So was this part of God’s plan? I really didn’t know, but I was willing to stick it out. During this time, the only refuge I found was my writing. God gave me a suspense idea one weekend and despite the fact that my computer decided to quit that very weekend, I jotted 30 or so pages on paper. The characters, scenes and dialogue flowed faster than I could write them down.

My first WIP was completed, though it needed a lot of work after being critiqued and rejected by several publishers. I decided to shelve it and run with this new suspense I was passionate about. Well, I ran with it and worked crazy hours, late nights. Writing was a great way to escape the insanity of homeschooling, and I loved immersing myself in my characters’ lives. I toiled and labored, and soon desired writing above anything else. I polished my WIP, submitted proposals, entered contests and received some rejections, learning a lot in the process. I grew as a writer, and I loved every hectic minute of it, yet my home was in chaos. My kids were out of control, and I was at a loss as to what to do.

I knew I hadn’t fully given myself to homeschooling like I had to my writing, and I didn’t want to. To me it was all work that didn’t bring any joy. Still, I knew I needed to go at a slower pace and save more of my energy for my children. About six months ago, I thought I had put my writing on the altar, realizing it had become an idol. So I cut back on my writing, limiting it only to the weekends. I thought that was enough. I guess it wasn’t.

Last night at a bible study I admitted to my homeschool group that all I wanted to do was write. And I also told them about the problems we’ve been having with my oldest son who's 11years old, problems that have been going on for years and was one of the reasons why I didn’t want to homeschool, but also the reason we pulled him out of private school.

A discussion came up about seasons in our lives, and maybe I would have to give up writing for a season. When I heard those words, I felt like the blood drained from my body. I’ve thought about it many times, praying that God wouldn’t ask me to give that up…anything but that. I was scheduled to leave for a writer’s conference in the morning. I had paid the non-refundable money and told an author friend to save a spot on her appointment list. I also planned to sign up for an appointment with an agent. I told so many people I would be going, and now God was asking me to not go.

But as she talked and challenged me, and as I became choked up with emotions I knew I had to give it up. I knew that just cutting back wouldn’t do it. I needed and still need a breakthrough in my family, and I was willing to kill my “Isaac” to get it.

So here I sit in mourning. I feel like Abraham must have felt as he climbed the mountain with Isaac, his beloved son. He knew he was going to offer his son as a sacrifice to God and was willing to do it though it would grieve him. The son he prayed for would die by his own hands. My dream and calling I knew came directly from God would have to die.

God is a jealous God, and he will not have any idols before him. Though I’m devastated at my loss I’m trying to walk in obedience. I have laid my Isaac on the altar and raised the knife, not knowing whether God will grab my hand before I strike, resurrect my baby on the altar or just let it die. But I do know His will is perfect even though I have no understanding why he would take this from my life. But for now I know I need to let it rest in peace.